It’s been an hour now. I can’t let you go. I feel so sick. I need you. Why can’t you stay..

And I can’t stop crying. I hate this.

It meant a lot that you came to see me and gave me that hug that I’ve been needing so much. I didn’t want to let go. I wanted to stay there, you made things okay. You made all the pain go away for that moment. And now I feel numb. Because you’re gone, physically and emotionally. I don’t want you to leave because I know that this time it’s for good. I was speechless. So much emotion went through me. Anger, happiness, hurt, sadness, broken. I almost cried. I was close to it. Overwhelmed with these feelings, but I held it all back because I didn’t want you to see me like that. Pathetic and broken down. You mean so much to me, why isn’t it the same for you?